Wednesday, January 1, 2014


When I have a tough day (or night) at work, it can haunt me. I have at times spent days thinking about and praying for a patient and their family. I still remember one patient in particular that I took care of for an entire shift who was living out her final days in a hospital bed, strapped to a fetal monitor, and receiving assistance to breathe. She was given a very poor prognosis that she would make it through the delivery of her baby girl. I can recall those 12 hours like it was yesterday. I remember the way my patient laughed, what we talked about, and her favorite candy she craved.

I left my shift that day clinging to the 4% chance she'd been given to live. I wanted her to see and hold her baby girl, to go home to her two boys, to recover and live a normal life again. I returned later the next week to discover that she did get to see and hold her little girl, but that her body gave out on her a couple of days later. I never did get to give her that Mr. Goodbar I'd promised.

My heart is often heavy and broken. It's a job hazard. I work in one of the happiest but also one of the saddest places in a hospital. That reality is surprising to some but others have an unfortunate and personal understanding of that statement. Now, I don't plan on bombarding you with devastating stories. I actually would rather share hope.

When I experience these sad circumstances along with my patients and their families, I can only come up with one word to describe it- broken. I understand where that brokenness came from. I understand that at the fall of man, sin entered the world and we now experience this broken world. I even experience it in my own broken trust of God. I also understand that my only hope through it all is to claim Christ.

A few weeks ago, I sat in church singing the following song. The very first line hit me hard. I was reminded again. There it was- my hope.

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone who took on flesh
Fulness of God in helpless babe
 This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied -
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

When  the fierce drought and storm come, when I experience the brokenness around me and in me, when I get to my car and the tears come, and when I fail, I will stand in the hope of Christ.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing this. That song carries me through many a days too.